Love Love Love
by amasianfish
Summary: Canon. Brittana. One-shot about Santana's struggle with her love for Brittany. Based on the song Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men.


Love Love Love 

Bright blue eyes gaze adoringly.

"You know I'd do anything for you," she whispers.

Swallow.

Get off the bed.

Put clothes back on.

Fix wild sex hair.

Glance back at her.

Bright blue eyes that are now melancholy.

That have seen this routine happen again and again.

"Stay this time, San."

She pleads, yet she already knows the answer.

Shake head.

Leave with that last glimpse of her.

Disheveled hair, body kissed clean, bright blue eyes stained with love.

Again.

_Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away_

_And maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it_

Heart beats fast.

Again.

Why, again?

Can't stay away.

Can't stay away from those bright blue eyes, that cheerful smile, those blonde locks.

Just can't.

But manage to leave every time.

Her disappointed face tugging at heartstrings.

Yet, footsteps lead to an escape route every time.

Always.

Each step breaking her heart.

Again and again.

_Yeah, maybe I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad person_

_Well, baby, I know_

At school.

Eyes trained on a certain red and white uniform.

Look away when she sees.

Sit next to her in Chemistry.

Laugh when she does something cute.

Like wrinkle her nose.

Or scrunch her eyebrows together.

Or bite her lip.

Or play with her hair.

Or look up, startled, when she's called on.

Or a combination.

Go to hold her hand, but stop.

Can't.

Not here.

Not ever.

Settle on pinkies.

The best thing she'll ever get.

_And these fingertips_

_will never run through your skin_

In Glee, sing.

Hidden desires spilling out.

Shaky breaths.

Those bright blue eyes.

Expecting something.

Open mouth.

On the edge of feeling.

Of falling.

Step back.

Disguise the moment with bitter, snarky retorts.

Refuse to feel.

Can't feel.

_Those bright blue eyes can only meet mine across the room_

_filled with people that are less important than you_

Give her a ride home.

Smile as she plays with dark hair, tickles caramel skin.

Breathe in her love.

As she gets out of the car, a kiss on the cheek.

A murmur.

"I love you."

Bright blue eyes.

Waiting.

Again.

Smile sadly.

Closed door.

Unsaid words hang.

Unspoken on tongue.

Again.

'_cause you love, love, love_

_when you know I can't love_

Abuela's disgust when she sees Kurt at performances.

"It's a sin, Santanita."

A sin.

Nod in agreement.

Of course, Abuela.

_You love, love, love_

_When you know I can't love_

Those trusting, bright blue eyes.

Those lips.

Capture her lips.

Heated. Crazed. Longing.

Regret it later.

As her hopeful eyes ask a question.

And the answer is always negative.

_You love, love, love_

_When you know I can't love you_

One night, it's too much.

Rush over to her house.

Run into her room.

Shove her onto her back.

Attack with bruising lips.

Silence her queries.

_So I think it's best_

_we both forget_

_before we dwell on it_

Break down.

Collapse.

Wracking sobs.

Enveloped by arms.

Hesitant at first.

But soon strong.

An anchor.

_The way you held me so tight_

_all through the night_

'_til it was near morning_

Wake up.

Try to move.

Can't.

Her arms are the world.

The only one worth living in.

But, with tear-stained cheeks, slip away.

Again.

Sorry.

'_cause you love, love, love_

Shame.

Arrive home.

Guilt.

Look at phone.

Select her in Favorites.

Hang up.

Sorry.

_When you know I can't love_

Squeeze eyes shut.

Can't take it.

Hit the floor.

Crumple.

Lay there a while.

Her face flooding in.

Those bright blue eyes.

Clouding vision.

_You love, love, love_

See her later at school.

She's not angry.

Just sad.

"Why'd you leave?"

Doesn't she know by now?

Turn to leave.

"I love you. Still."

Walk away.

Again.

_When you know I can't love_

Stare at the ceiling of her bedroom.

Clothes off.

As always.

How does it always end up like this?

_You love, love, love_

"Please, San… Just once… Stay."

Broken voice.

Broken blue eyes.

Broken heart.

Do what is always done.

Even when it's poisoning her.

Leave.

_When you know I can't love you_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I know I've been gone a while and I feel really bad about the A&D fic, but this idea came to me when I heard this song, Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men (which I don't own by the way, or Glee in any way ^^). (Their album My Head Is an Animal is terrific just saying; I highly recommend checking it out.) I was listening to the lyrics and the song and the idea for a Brittana fic hit me in the gut. I hope you all enjoyed, and my non-usage of personal pronouns worked in a good way, instead of being disastrous… Anyway, reviews are welcome! :)**

**-L**


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